Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Thursday, February 27, 2003
Cletus says he is concerned about Mr. Possum and his getting shots before having his teeth worked on. Says he never gets any of that anna nasty stuff himself. Bubba said he thought the word was anesthesia and since when had Cletus been to a dentist. Cletus said he went to ole Dr. Kennerly back when he was about 30 (Cletus not the dentist) and had one of his wisdom teeth pulled. Bubba said it was a good thing he didn't have all them pulled since there was precious little evidence of wisdom coming from him as it is. Cletus iqnored him and went on talking about how he just went in and had ole Kennerly pull the tooth out and then went on back to work. Bubba asked if this was back in Cletus' distilled spirit enterprise days and if Cletus just might have been anna-nasticized by his own product. Cletus allowed how he might have had a nip or two but getting a tooth pulled was no big thing. I should explain that Cletus has lots of teeth. He has talked about trying to get the TV disaster guy job, but his good teeth are a big hindrance. I don't want you think any of us run around without proper teeth just because we call our blog "Compleat Redneck." We are all rather cultured here as I am sure you sense from the intellectual repartee emanating from your computer screen. We learned all them big words in that last sentence just this week in our continuing effort at Blog improvement.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

If you do not know about the TV disaster guy job, Cletus has a theory that the TV networks have a big, dumb-sounding, black-toothed , rednecked, slow-talking, gravity-challenged feller in a too small t-shirt on retainer to show up at every natural disaster and proclaim " I gotta tell ya, me and Ethel was just standing over there by the gas pumps when it come through. Sounded just like a frieght train. You coulda heared it for miles" It doesn't matter what the disaster is, be it a flood, an earthquake or a tornado or where it is, the same guy shows up. Anyway, Cletus was going to apply for the job but his good teeth held him back.. He said he could fake the stupid look but he wasn't messing with his teeth. Bubba said the acting job was not a great stretch either.

Well, Cletus went it back to Mr. Possum and the lady dentist. He said he thought that he might just have to start doing regular dentist trips if they had lady dentists now. Bubba said he thought that might involve a trip to B'ham since that is where Mr. Possum lives. Cletus said he thought Mr. Possum lived in one of the suburbs. Bubba said he thought I was just trying to use up a week's allotment of electrons by reporting this really ignernt banter. Bubba has taken to using words like "banter" since he is often quoted here. I think that words like "ignernt" distract from the intellectual air he is trying to convey.

Bubba said he thought it was okay for Mr. Possum to get something for the pain, that not everyone's head was as hard as Cletus'. Being right tuckered out by their enthusiastic set to, they adjourned to the back for some pecan pie.

Monday, February 24, 2003
Cletus answered a quiz (Here) courtesy of Indigo Insightsand it came back that he was a liberal in the mold of that Sorkin guy who does that "West Wing" show on TV. Cletus says he has never even watched the show and if being nice to people means he is a liberal then so be it, but he suspects it might be his Church manners learned at his Mma's knee. You know, that old do unto others thing. In fact he is pretty sure the questions are slanted. That one about the dirty ragged girl really agravated him since he runs acroos people like that all the time. He tries to help them the best he can the first time and reserves judgment after that.

Cletus says the quiz reminds him of the time he got called about his views of Hillary's Health Care Plan. The first question they asked was did he believe that everyone should have adequate health care. He said "No"! The pollster was quiet just long enough for Cletus to tell him that only a damned fool or a pathetic idiot would answer anything other than "Yes" and if anyone really wanted to know what people thought, they wouldn't ask loaded questions to start off. The pollster hung up on him. Cletus thinks he was probably counted as an undecided.