Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Friday, August 29, 2003
Mr. Possum is back and Cletus is mighty relieved. He was afraid that the City of B'Ham had been hit by the budget crisis and had taken away Mr. Possum's computer. Now we see that he was off becoming a learned personage, we think. Actually, the only thing we understood from that post was the stuff about the kids and being tired. Oh and the sandwich, pickle and cold drink.

Cletus says he wonders if it was a real "cold drink". Real cold drinks are carbonated. Around here, that used to mean Coca Cola, Pepsi, Double Cola, Dr. Pepper, the various Nehis and the ultimate, Royal Crown or RC Cola. With sugar. Lots of sugar. And caffeine. Tons of caffeine. As much caffeine as in a Stanback or BC and them babies are packed with caffeine.

Boy, them was the good old days. A Moon Pie and a RC Cola. It doesn't get any better.

Chocolate. Not vanilla or heavens forbid, banana.

Well, here we are at the end of Summer and the big Labor Day weekend where we can all celebrate being laborers or something. I have never been real clear on what it is we celebrate on Labor Day. We already have a Mother's Day so it can't be that and most people would get their backs up over being called laborers.

Cletus sais he is a laborer because he works with his hands so maybe anyone who works in the BBQ Emporium is a laborer. Maybe we should celebrate by taking the weekend off and having a good old Merican BBQ. Sort of one of them busman's holidays you hear about.

What in the heck is a busman's holiday? What is a busman?

Cletus says he is going to take it easy this weekend. Probably won't so much of anything other than go over to Kudzuacres and sing some Merle Haggard with some fellers. Cletus does right good on Merle and he isn't a bad Mel Tillis. He says singing those old Merle songs helps him relax after a hard day at work. Bubba says he can't imaging what a relaxed Cletus would look like so he just may go and listen to the "music". "That's how he said it, in quotes.)

Elroy said: "I think I'll just stay here and drink".

Cletus has been working on some stories so maybe he will post some next week. I reminded him that he said he would tell the rest of the "Go Cart Bandit" story and he said he was working on it.

Have a great holiday!

Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Cletus is in full politician mode as we near the tax plan vote. He asks everyone who comes in how they plan to vote. So far, he is not getting a lot of yesses. Yesterday, one of the older guys in the community came in and and he and Cletus got to talking about the vote. Rayburn said he was voting no even if he had to walk down to the polling place in a biblical flood and a hail of lightning. Cletus told him he didn't think lightning came in hails. Rayburn said he didn't mean hail, he meant it just like he said it "hell". Cletus said he thought they were getting off the subject and could Rayburn tell him why he was going to vote no. "Politicians!" They was politicians mixed up in it and he hated politicians. Ever time you turned around, some politician was trying to use your or your neighbors money to buy your vote and he wasn't about to give them more money even it wasn't going to come from him since he is one of them senior citizens and his little old house is exempt from taxes anyway and lord know he ain't got no income or words to that effect.

Cletus said he agreed it is a tough decision what with the schools possible closing or them having to lay off teachers. Rayburn said it wasn't a tough decision at all. Just don't trust any politicians and you are okay. Vote no! Cletus asked him if he had thought about the possibility that it is the anti-tax people who are lying not Governor Riley and that by voting no, Rayburn might be playing into their hand. They talked about it for a long time and finally agreed that they didn't know enough about the situation to make an informed decision.

For example: What is the State Budget?
How does it compare to surrounding state's per capita spending?
Are there things in other states that are local spending that in Alabama are state spending?
What is the per student spending for Alabama schools? How does it rank nationally?
How does Alabama's per inmate spending compare nationally?

Bubba said those were pretty good questions and he would like to know the answers too. We figured we could probably look them up, but it seems that if the numbers support the plan, then the proponents should put them out. If they don't support the plan, then the opponents should put them out.

That's when Elroy pointed out the flaw in our thinking. If either side put out the numbers, we would still have to look them up to see if they are lying.

Bubba says he is a little bit bothered about the assertion that 85% will pay the same or fewer taxes. If the remaining 15% are going to pay the whole $1.2 billion, then he really needs to figure out if he is one of the "rich" before he decides how to vote cause he doesn't think he has that much money.

Elroy said he had done some quick calculations and the budget shortfall is about 3.8% of the budget. After our little talk, we don't know whether to believe him or not.

Monday, August 25, 2003
Cletus has been listening to Judge Roy talking about his monument and he says that he is not impressed. He has been reading up on the history of Christianity and says this is not the first time someone has tried to their beliefs the law of the land. He says people have been doing it for centuries.

Cletus is not much of a Church goer, but he is a fairly moral person. He says that he thinks people who always have to hold their beliefs up to everyone else has a problem with their beliefs. Cletus says he read something once about something called buyer's remorse and that people who buy things like to see that others agree that they made a good choice.

Bubba says he hasn't gotten in to the psychology of the thing. He just thinks Roy is a fool and wishes he would go on back to Gadsden and leave the rest of us out of his crusade.

By the way, how do these people have all this free time to spend blocking access to the monument? Don't any of them work?