Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Thursday, September 11, 2003
We are beginning to suffer through the devastating Alabama Autumn weather. Cletus warns all the come heres that if they think the Albama Summer is bad, they don't want to be here for the Autumn. He tells the BBQ Emporium regulars that we don't need to be encouraging people to stay here because the next thing you know, they are a building a sub-division next door and you can't shoot squirrels off'n your back porch without having someone complain about the noise. He has a point there altough I usually use a pellet rifle and people barely notice that.

Bubba says he is having a problem with the deer eating his corn and he thinks we orta have open season year round on deer. Bubba doesn't care too much for critters since most of them manage to eat a portion of his crops. The deer are the worst and he says they carry diseases that affect his cattle. Elroy asked if he was sure it was the deer since Cletus still has that herd of hogs running around eating on other people's land. Cletus said that they were only his after he nabs them and has them on the old F250, otherwise they are free to go where they want. I think that he may be taking the idea of free range pork a bit far. Bubba says if the hogs belong to whoever happens to catch them, then he has his eye on a couple of big ones and might just have himself a hog killing come November.

Hog killing used to be a big thing here. We would round up a big one, Daddy would shoot him between the eyes with a .22, we would boil up a wash pot of water and scrape the hair off the hog, Daddy and Grandpa would chop the hog up with axes and Mama and Grandma would make the smaller cuts. Killing days was right good eatin' with the choice cuts set out for then and the cuts to be smoked and salted put in the smoke house. I always liked the meat better on the first day when it was fresh.

Now days, even if you raise your own hogs, it is easier to carry them to a butcher and let them do it all. It's not he same and I don't think the meat is as good.

It looks like the pecan crop will be pretty good this year at least on the trees that I have looked at. What more can you ask? Fresh pork and pecans for pies.

I think we can make it through another brutal Alabama Fall.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Real busy around here these days. It has been dry for several days now so Cletus is out catching up on his fire wood cutting and the old BBQ Emporium is just not the same when he isn't here. I expected him is to comment on the tax plan, but apparently he is too busy to mess with us.

Bubba is getting his hay in and Elroy says the Electric Coop has been an exciting place to work since the great balckout a couple of weeks ago.

Maybe things will get back to normal soon.

Meanwhile, be sure to read the exciting science fiction tale over at Mr. Possum's Place.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Cletus expected more requests for advice. After all it is free and he has a lot of experience with women and marriage and divorce. Bubba told him that maybe he should be more gentle with people and maybe he would get more letters. Cletus said most people's troubles stim from no one ever telling them the real facts of life and he refuses to be a part of it. If you ask him a question, expect an answer to fit the situation.

Bubba asked Cletus if he voted. Cletus said "Yep!"