Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Friday, April 02, 2004
We will be off the air until April 20. Cletus is headed off to Mississippi to clean out the casinos and I will be too busy with work to post anything. Cletus promises to put his nose to the grindstone when he returns. Don't know if the grindstone can handle it.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Cletus is not doing real well writing the stories he promised. As I said, he is too busy doing other things since he retired. He says he thinks he will take up the mandolin and start playing with a Bluegrass group and maybe be famous like Bill Monrow or Ralph Stanley. Bubba says he thinks Cletus' fingers are too large for the mandolin and that he has never noticed any real musical ability that Cletus has other than doing a halfway decent Elvis impression. Cletus says it is because he never got to take music lessons when he was growing up. Mizz Jones wouldn't spring for the trumpet lessons Cletus wanted saying that since there was no one else in the community who played horns, Cletus would sound pretty wierd playing the trumpet in a Bluegrass band. Cletus says that he is sure if he had gotten to take trumpet lessons back when he was a boy, the trumpet would be considered a major Bluegrass instrument and he would be a star and appear on those PBS fund raising programs and maybe even sing a duet with Patti Lovelace. Bubba says his mind boggles at the notion of "Dueling Banjos" on the trumpet and anything.

Cletus says it is probably too late for him to imtroduce an entirely new instrument to Bluegrass but he could introduce a new mandolin style since he is pretty sure he'll never be able to do the McReynolds' Roll or any Bill Monroe stuff. Bubba says he figgers anything Cletus does will become known as the "just plain crazy" style since that is what Cletus is.

Elroy says Bubba is wrong. There is nothing plain about Cletus' craziness.