Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Cletus says that coming up with stories is harder than he thought. He just about used up all the ones he feels are safe to tell. Bubba hasn't been any help since says that Cletus better not tell anything that embarrasses him and most of the good ones involve Bubba and could be a little bit in that direction.

Cletus is still going with Mary Ruth although she in no longer in the media business. She has moved on to be a funeral director. Bubba says that may have real meaning for Cletus. Cletus says he doesn't know what to think about the funeral business. He say he knows we will all have to use it someday, but he just doesn't see it having a McDonalds impact on the marketplace. Bubba says he doesn't know if that is true. He has heard of funeral homes that have drive through viewing and surely some creative dierector has come up with daily specials. I guess that would be something like order up the big one and get a side of fries and a drink.

Cletus says he doesn't think it is respectful to make jokes about funerals. Bubba says that he thinks funerals are the best time to make jokes. He says the best funerals are the ones where everyone talks about the deceased and their idiosyncracies.

Cletus asked Bubba to spell that last word so he could look it up and see if Bubba was talking dirty. Bubba says he learned the work from the "Reader's Digest" and it means the odd things about a person. Cletus said that in that case, Bubba's funeral should be a lot of fun.

From what I can see, a lot of the funerals around here could put Comedy Central out of business.

Monday, September 27, 2004
Well, we escaped another storm. Cletus says he was looking forward to having a lot of trees already down so he would not have to do so much cutting but it look like he'll have to do the whole job. Cletus about got out of the wood business but the free range pork business never took off what with it being pretty hard to catch the pork once it gets real free and Cletus is not up to a lot of running around in the woods like he used to do when he was in the distilled spirits industry. Cutting wood seems to be a good idea for now. Elroy is still down in Florida doing whatever he does to get the power back on. I guess he'll be moving farther South since Jeanne passed through.

Cletus says he thinks he has come up with some new stories. We'll see. Bubba says that recycling is not allowed. I seemed to remember that Cletus was a charter member of the "Save the Electrons Federation". I wonder if he had recycling his stories in mind when he joined.