Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Cletus just came in and said he had had a scrumptious lunch over in Huntsville. Cletus talks like that when he has been out with Mary Ruth his current lady friend. Bubba says that he thinks Cletus may be getting serious about MR since they have been together for over a year now. I don't know. MR seems like an intelligent woman if a little weird.

Cletus said they had lunch in a German restaurant over on Jordan Lane in Huntsville and that it was really good. He says he had a pretty good chunk of pork with some peppery gravy and sides of coleslaw and red cabbage. He is trying to eat healthy these days. He says the pork was called schnitzel or something like that which he takes to be German for really big porkchop. Anyway, the Deutsche Kuche is Cletus' latest Dining tip. I may not back Cletus up on everything, but one look at him and you see he knows his food. He says that the best he can tell, they don't have pecan pie so he can't give them four thumbs up.

Cletus plan to become a food critic didn't work out too well once he found that the local paper would not (could not?) pay for the food. Cletus tries to not pay for his eats too often and he says it wouldn't be right to take free food from a restaurant and then not give them the top rating. Bubba siad he figured that meant the BBQ Emporium must have about ten thousand thumbs at the end of its write-up. Lord, I hope Cletus doesn't write about us. That's about all we need, a bunch of his overeating friends showing up here for the holidays. What I am I saying? They are.

Monday, December 13, 2004
Cletus says he read somewhere that the successful blogs post short things often. That set off a big argument about what success is with most of the boys coming down solidly on the side of having enough that you can sit around and discuss world affairs over a cup of coffee and maybe a couple of sausage biscuits and not have to worry about being late to work. Bubba said by that definition, Cletus had been successful ever since he figured out that you could mooch off of people and sleep at your Mama's house if times got rough. Anyway, whatever success is, the BBQ Emporium crowd is several weeks behind it.

Cletus says he thinks we ought to all get together and haul an MG of some sort down to Terry Oglesby. Most any MG would do because an MG's natural state is broke. Cletus says he is pretty sure he saw an MG Midget down at the wrecking yard the other day when he was looking for some parts for his collectors edition F250. Bubba allowed how collectors edition was about right since you could pretty well collect most of it by picking up the parts that fall off as Cletus drives down the highway.

Anyway, we are going to try to post a little more often and try to get our vast readership of two people back. Okay, I know we have said that before, but this time we really mean it.