Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Friday, March 11, 2005
Cletus said to tell you he had a big entry all ready to go yesterday but Blogger ate it. Bubba said he didn't remember hearing any keyboard action or see smoke coming from the office area as Cletus typed at the ferocious rate of three words a minute. Elroy said he thought it was at least ten words a minute that Cletus typed. The question remains unanswered as Cletus refused to demonstrate his data entry skills so he could be timed. Anyway, Bubba says he thinks Cletus may be slightly exaggerating when he says he had a big entry. Cletus says he was working on the "Rednecks From Space" story and now he can't remember what he wrote or even where he left the boys in the last episode. Bubba says he seems to remember that they were treed by cat or coon dog and it looked grim. He suggested that it would be a good time to have Captain Kirk ride over the hill and rescue them but he guessed Kirk would only be interested if the were Redneck girls so he guessed the boys are out of luck. Cletus says he figures there is some kind of copyright on Kirk and he couldn't use him anyway.

Elroy asked how Mizz Bubba was doing and we learned that the latest tests show no active cancer but she will start chemo as soon as the infection of the surgical site is cleared up. Cletus said he stopped by the place where Larry plays on Thursday nights and our Alzheimer's buddy was there and playing lead guitar very well. That started an argument over whose day it was to drive him to the Emporium and Cletus is making a schedule on a napkin. I hope the boys will be able to read their copies through the coffee stains.

Cletus says to tell you he enjoyed the pecan pie he had for breakfast.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Bubba isn't doing real good these days. His wife has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is getting ready to start chemotherapy. She had a lumpectomy a couple of weeks ago and the doc thought he got it all but the lab report came back showing some pre-cancerous growth in the surrounding tissue so they are going to do the chemo. She went Monday to get the port put in but there is some infection around the surgical incision so they have to get that cleared up first. The prognosis is good and Mizz Bubba has a good attitude.

So the old Emporium is not as cheerful a place as it has been. As we said a few days back, one of our older folk has early Alzheimer's and another has about six different things killing him although he says it is about the average number of things that have been killing him for the last thirty years or so. Cletus says Roy is right cheerful for a man with a half dozen fatal illnesses but Roy says you may as well be cheerful. If you are a grump people don't come see you and he enjoys seeing the ladies. I think that is because they usually bring him something to eat. Roy says an advantage of a fatal illness is you don't have to worry about doing things that aren't good for you.

Cletus offered to do his Elvis act for Roy but Roy said he drew the line at some things even if he is dying. He said he may have fatal illnesses but there is no reason to make himself sick for no reason.

Monday, March 07, 2005
Cletus says he and Mary Ruth done gone and had themselves a major argument. Seems MR got Cletus to read the Nicholas Sparks book "The Notebook" and they disagree on it being a sad story or not. MR says it is very sad and Cletus says it has sad parts but overall he thinks it is a story about two people loving each other and being happy even when bad things happen. Cletus says he doesn't usually read books like this, but he may have to read some more of this Sparks' feller's stuff. Bubba says he thinks Cletus is just an old softy and not nearly as tough as he likes people to think.

Cletus says if you haven't read any of Sparks' stuff you should give it a try. Here is Sparks' homepage ( .