Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance. billyjoebobsbbq@yahoo.com

Thursday, March 24, 2005
 
This is a true story of a friend of ours in a long ago place.

Sally and Buster lived in a doublewide in a fairly nice court except for nearby neighbors who aired their differences very loudly most evenings. This was not a big problem except for those nice days when you could sit outside and enjoy the weather. Anyway, from one end of their deck, Sally and Buster could see the front door of the trailer where the disputing coupled lived. One evening, as Buster was grilling some steaks, they heard the start of another argument and prepared themselves to give up their nice outside evening for another behind closed doors and windows. Sally was sitting in the spot where you could see the offending couple's deck. They heard loud cursing and the woman say that she intended to kill the man. Sally saw and Buster heard the front door slam. A few seconds later, Sally saw the door open and the woman step out holding a pistol.

"She's got a gun, Buster".

"Oh, Sally you are just imagining things."

"I think she is going to shoot him."

"Don't be rediculous, just get me a platter for these steaks."

"Blam!"

"Buster, she just shot him."

"Don't be rediculous, that was probably just a backfire."

"He just fell off the deck."

"Probably just tripped."

Sally called the police and they showed up a few minutes later and spent the next hour talking to Buster and never asking Sally anything.

Buster was the only "eyewitness" at the trial where the woman was acquitted because on cross-examination he had to admit that he had not seen her shoot the man.

Sally never offered any information to the authorities. After the trial ended, she said: "Damn man was killed, men decided who was a reliable witness and men sat on the jury. I don't see how you could say justice wasn't done."


 
Cletus said he wanted to play in the Thursday Three game this week. I have no idea why.

1) What is the one thing that you love MOST about Spring? It's when the pigs really get down to rooting in the woods and a real good time to sit back and relax. Of course anytime is a real good time to sit back and relax.

2) ASIDE FROM POLLEN AND TORNADOES, what is the one thing that you love LEAST about Spring? The nights start to get shorter which seriously cuts into sleep time. It's hard to relax when you haven't had enough sleep.

3) Name your single most favorite song, movie, play, book, painting, sculpture, etc., etc., with “spring” as part of the title. Can't think of anything.


Wednesday, March 23, 2005
 
We don't usually write this kind of thing here, but times they are a changin'. Cletus says he figures Terri Schiavo will be dead by Sunday and he says he fears something else is dying along with her. We are just old country boys at heart and not necessarily the sharpest knives in the drawer, but anyway we look at this, it looks like State ordered murder. Cletus says he figures that sometime in the future, some judge is going to say that his life is not worth living and the plug will be pulled. Elroy says he is being overly dramatic, but Cletus says he thinks a line has been crossed and there may be no turning back.

Cletus says he has never trusted a legislator and nor the executive branch, but at least there are some checks on them. The courts have no checks because for some reason we have decided that a judge is somehow a higher being. The ones that we have known personally were neither better or worse than the average politician which says that you want to do everything in your power to avoid them.

Bubba says he thinks we are being too generous in our estimate of judges since the couple of times he personally had the opportunity to see one in action, what he saw was idiocy of a higher order.

Cletus says he will sign a living will when hell freezes over since he figures it would be nothing but his own death warrant if he should ever trip and stub his toe and some judge got hold of it.

The rest of us are not sure he is wrong.