Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Friday, June 10, 2005
Mizz Bubba is home from the hospital. Her cancer Doc told her that he thought smoking was the cause of her series of mini-strokes. She has now gone six days without smoking and says she is quitting. Bubba is hanging up his smokes also. Cletus says he supposes that is a good thing as long as Bubba doesn't get more grouchy than usual.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Mizz Bubba is back in the hospital with a light stroke. She has completed several chemo treatments and has lost most of her hair but has continued to be cheerful. She has had high blood pressure for years and apparently it has caught up with her just when she can least handle it. Bubba is doing pretty good but is really worried since Mizz Bubba refuses to take care of herself by improving her diet and stopping smoking. On top of that their 38 year old son had a heart attack a couple of weeks back. Cletus says it sort of proves the old adage that bad things come in bunches. Young Bubba is doing well with his stent and is back at work.

Monday, June 06, 2005
More recycled Drivel:

Cletus managed to get the parts off the old F250 that he needed and he spent most of the night putting the flatbed on his new truck. It looks right nice if you like big old pickups with solid steel plate beds fit for hauling whatever you might want. The folks who use those beds still believe in road-hugging weight. I figger that thing weighs about three tons (tonnes for our British friends) Cletus picked up a nice set of dual wheels from James Earl and the new F250 looks kinda like a big truck now. As I said, it is the same body style as the old F250 and except for all the body parts being there, it looks about the same. Cletus seems to have recovered from the shock of his loss.

One of our 7 readers has asked about the progress of Cletus' political career. Well, he is still in the exploratory stage meaning that he is still trying to figger out if anyone other than him and his Mama is going to vote for him. Bubba and I have told him he has our vote but I don't think he believes us. He is still practicing his Elvis act and is getting pretty good at "Heartbreak Hotel". The problem is he can't do any other Elvis song and as Bubba says, that one was done by the young, slim Elvis not the one that Cletus resembles. Bubba says the scary thing is a bunch of people will pay extra for their BBQ just to see Cletus make a fool of himself. Their Mama says he better not embarrass the family. She is just now able to show her face over his being arrested in that little distilled spirits misunderstanding. If she hadn't been able to slip some money, er, talk sense with the sheriff, Cletus woulda done some time over at East Limestone. As it was, all the ladies down at the Missionary Baptist Church all knew and the sad looks directed at her just broke her heart. If Bubba wasn't such a fine upstanding son, she don't know what she would do.Cletus started to say something about how fine and upstanding Bubba is but Bubba looked real hard at him and he stopped. No sense in really breaking his Mama's heart. He just consoled himself with a few pieces of pecan pie. I'm telling you, the boy is more expensive to feed than any ten teenage boys. Bubba says he must have the world's largest tape worm. Elroy said there was certainly enough room inside Cletus' belt for some kind of record. He wonders if we should call Guiness.

We see that Mr. Possum has been off his feed and hope he recovers before the weekend. From what we hear, there are a number of restaurants around B'Ham depending on him for their survival. If he is going to be laid up long, we'll send Cletus over to take up the slack.