Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Cletus says he's not sure he wants to tell us anymore of his theory on government since he is pretty dern sure he'll have to spend hours explaining it. Elroy said he is willing to withhold any questions he may have and defer to Cletus' superior intelligence. Bubba says Elroy is either pulling our legs or has lost his mind. Cletus is now refusing to talk to us at all.

Bubba says Mizz Bubba is doing real good. She went to the Super Walmart over in Big Cove the other day and drove herself. He isn't real crazy about her driving, but she snuck off while he was feeding the pigs. He says he knows she must be doing good because she is back to being cantankerous.

One of the young rocket scientists finds himself homeless. Seems he fell for the oldest builder lie in the book and believed that his new house would be finished on the day promised. He sold his old house and had to move out and the new one is "almost" ready. Bubba told him that he was pretty much like Joseph what with a pregnant wife and no house. The good news is there is room at the inn.

Cletus just stuck his head up and he says Merry Christmas to the lot of you.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Cletus hasn't enlightened us farther on what government really is, but he has given a pretty good rundown on the Christmas party a Mary Jane's work. Well, the food part anyway. Seems they had a meat tray with thinly sliced roast beef, turkey and ham, a bunch of different casseroles and whole bevy of desserts including cheese cakes, pecan pies and a really good chocolate pecan cookie thing that Cletus swears were better than my pecan pies. The best part is he hung around until they were breaking up and the nice ladies (who all said they were on diets) gave him the leftovers to take home.

I asked him if that meant I didn't need to cut a new pecan pie seeing as he didn't think mine were that good and he had all the extra food at home, but he allowed as how he didn't want to hurt my feelings by turning down the pie.

I keep trying to figure out at what point I took him to raise.

Monday, December 19, 2005
Cletus says he has been thinking about the whole concept of government and that he is pretty sure he has it figured out.

He says that he figures that way back at the beginnings, people gathered together to fight off animals and that someone was in charge, probably the oldest male who likely was the grandfather or father of the rest. As time went on, the groups grew into clans and tribes and before you knew it, there was someone in charge simply because he could get more people to follow him than the next guy could. Before you could count ten, the head guy figured out he could get more goodies for himself by surrounding himslf with the biggest fellers and sharing the goodies with them in return for their support.

Cletus has a pretty cynical outlook on life and I am looking forward to the rest of his theory but he had to go to a Christmas party at Mary Ruth's work and he said he couldn't risk missing some real good pecan pie by hanging around here educating folks who don't appreciate true genius when they see it.