Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Friday, January 20, 2006
Cletus says he has no more good ideas since Bubba and Elroy shot him down on the dancing and pork ones. Bubba says Cletus is mighty free with the adjectives he uses such as "good".

Cletus says he was over in Huntsville and the police are really cracking down. He says they seemed to concentrating on trucks when he was there. Fortunately, he was with Mary Ruth and not in the classic F250 or we might be over there bailing him out.

Cletus says he has a couple of pretty good stories he'll tell us next week if he can only remember what they are. Cletus says memory is not one of the things that improves with age, not that he is getting old or anything like that.

He says one is about the time his friend Billy Ray invited the Methodist girl to go to church with him in the "charismatic" church where Billy Ray's Mom was the preacher. The story involves old Mizz Alvie, the Holy Ghost and leaping over pews. Bubba says he thinks we may have already heard that one but no one else could remember it. (Please see the note above about memory and age!)

Thursday, January 19, 2006
Since Elroy and Bubba shot down Cletus' idea of opening a dance club, he says he thinks that the time has arrived for him to get seriously into the free range pork business. As the two of you who are long term readers may remember, Cletus claims the wild hogs running around on Bubba's farm as his own and has them classified as "free range" rather than regular old destructive pigs.

Bubba says that in order to be in the pork business, Cletus needs to do more than just state his claim to what most people would see as wild animals like maybe go out and catch a few and take them to market. Of course, that is a lot of work so Cletus is pouting because his "big" brother has no confidence in him and always finds something wrong with every idea he has. Bubba says that's about the gist of it.

We got a comment yesterday from a feller named Osray who lives up in Washington State. He says he reads this Blog everyday. I was seriously concerned that all that rain they are having may be affecting his mind but then I saw that he used to live up in Tennesee and realized that his mind was beyond being affected. Somehow, that sentence doesn't sound just right, but anyway, we are happy as hogs in slop to have a reader from up where the salmon grow.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Cletus brought in several back issues of the Huntsville Times and read some of the comments of the people up in Northern Virginia who may be moving here. It seems some people from Huntville went up there to try to convince all those 4500 people whose jobs are being moved by the base closings announced last month that they would just love it in Huntsville. Elroy says he has a little bit of concern about anyone else moving to Hunstville because the last time he drove over there, he almost got killed and that was just in the Mall corridors never mind the streets.

Anyway, Cletus pointed out that many of the folks who showed up at the meetings were concerned that there might not be as much exciting nightlife in Huntsville as there in the DC area. Bubba made a smart aleck comment about how he could do without some of the excitement he has read about up there, but Cletus said the people were talking about such things as music, dancing and other nightlife not the shootings and stabbings. In fact he said he thought there was a real opportunity to get into the night club business and get some of his old buddies back in the music business for live band dancing. Bubba sort of shot him down by pointing out that the last song any of Cletus' buddies learned was "Okie from Muskogee" and it is doubtful that the people wanting to go dancing are Merle fans.

Elroy said that was all the more reason to not work real hard to get them to move here.

I just hope they know good BBQ.

If you don't know who Merle is, you may not be an appropriate peruser of this site. Please note teh big word there "peruser". Mr. smarty pants Possumman with his grammar book is not the only eddycated person in the Alabama neck of the Blogosphere.