Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Cletus says he is working on one of those "Where I Come From" posts since Mizz Junebugg suggested it and he can't stand to disappoint a lady. Elroy says he can just leave him out of his rememberances since Cletus tends to paint his growing up pals as the miscreants in any adventures we may have had. Elroy says he distinctly remembers that it wasn't him who shot at old VR Downs. Cletus says he remembers that event and none of us shot at VR since not a one of us would have missed at a mere 300 yards. Cletus' and Bubba's Pa whipped the lot of us anyway. I don't know if he was more disturbed that someone may have shot at VR or that they missed. Anyway, we all now agree that it was a wasted bullet either way.

Cletus says it may not be such a good idea to write about where we come from until we check with Chuck the Lawyer to see when the Statute of Limitations runs out on some of the places we come from.

Chuck the Lawyer was mixed up in a number of the events. Cletus says that may be why he went to law school since he was so aware of the depth and breath of crime around here. Bubba says if he went to law school expecting to earn a living from this bunch, Chuck is dumber that he looks.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Cletus was over reading Mizz Junebugg and says her post about where she is from pretty much fits him. Elroy says he dosen't remember Cletus having four sisters. Cletus says he didn't but really wishes he did because he has always been partial to the ladies.

Bubba says that hurts his feelings a bit but then he would trade Cletus for a sister about any day of the week.

You just can't satisfy some people.

Monday, March 20, 2006
Cletus was whining about Spring Break (okay, he says he was merely commenting, not whining). Seems he is depressed by the fact that he has no kids in school so doesn't get a spring break. Bubba asked what he needed a break from since he hasn't hit a lick at a snake in about three years. He has even given up on his Elvis impersonating (uh, excuse me, Elvis tribute act) and just kind of hangs around aggravating others. Now for those who know Cletus, it is hard to tell the difference from when he was in full swing as a professional woodcutter. As I recall, then he spent most of the day complaining about being put out of business by the gas and electric companies.

Cletus says everyone needs a break from routine now and then. Bubba offered to let him work on his farm for a few days to break up his routine but Cletus appears to have developed a hearing problem.