Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Cletus says he has decided that he will never run for public office since he has concluded that he doesn't have answers to the big questions. Bubba said he hated to say it, but that statement alone means Cletus is better qualified than those who are running. Bubba says he believes that the government has grown so large and complicated that the only remedy is to start over which not likely to happen.

Cletus says his great regret is he has never managed to got one of those Congressional "earmarks" directed to his effort to build a "free range" pork industry in Alabama. When he has tried to bring it up to various Congressional staffers, they always ask what his qualifications are and then they never seem to be impressed with his extensive knowledge of hogs. He says he thinks he has been misunderstanding the question since he found out that he could be an "advisor" to at least one Congressman for a mere $2000 a year contribution. Cletus says that since he only needed a few thousand for his project, the return on investment didn't look that good.

Cletus says he is a bit disturbed by the idea that his Congressman would think that the ability to contribute $2000 would make a person a good advisor. He knows quite a few real smart people who couldn't do that. Bubba says he is not sure that having intelligent advisors is the point.

I don't know when Bubba became so cynical.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Cletus asked Ali Bubba if he was one of the "illegal" aliens we should be out protesting against. Ali Bubba said he is more in the vein of an undesirable according to his neighbors who are upset about his lawn decorations which consists of several Caterpiller tractors upon blocks. Elroy pointed out that the neighbors in question appear to have million dollar houses and that a collection of rusty bulldozers may not be what they had in mind when they built. Ali Bubba says he was there first and his bulldozers are worth quite a bit so he thinks it is just jealousy.

Anyway, he says Cletus is free to protest if he wishes but since Ali Bubba is a retired American citizen as well as an immigrant, he has a bunch of groups to bring down on Cletus' head if he upsets him too much. Elroy said not to worry about it because protesting is too much like work to interest Cletus for too long.

Cletus was talking about a guy he used to work with and commented that "he wasn't the brightest bulb in the knife drawer". Bubba said he thought Cletus was mixing up something there maybe his metaphors but Elroy said he also knew the feller and Cletus had described him pretty well. Anyway, Cletus said he had seen where the guy was running for public office and he sort of thought that intelligence would be an asset in most any elective job.

Bubba asked him to give us an example of a smart elected official. Cletus is sitting over in the corner concentrating hard and so far (three hours) hasn't come up with any.

Now I know that is unfair. There are many highly intelligent elected officials. Why many of them say so themselves. I'm sure Cletus will be able to think of a name given enough time, although Bubba did make it hard by specifying that it had to be a currently serving official.

Monday, April 10, 2006
Cletus says there come the time in every person's (Cletus is becoming a lot more sensitive since he tied up with Mary Ruth) life when he or she must decide if they are going to amount to something. "So exactly did you decide against it?" asked Bubba. Cletus allowed as to how such comments from his only older brother were very painful to hear.

Well, I suppose that one should endeavor to amount to something, but the question is: "What does that really mean?" (Another question is: "What is the proper punctuation for a sentence such as this?")

Okay, back to this big question of Cletus' although he insists that was a statement not a question. Just what is meant by "amounting to something"? There are those who would say that cooking good BBQ is a big deal or that keeping the electricity going amounts to something or even occasionally cutting some firewood. Bubba asked if Cletus was thinking about becoming a great author or maybe inventing the next big thing.

Cletus said he was just kind of thinking out loud but that he might learn to keep his thoughts to himself from now on. Anyway, we decided that it wasn't necessary to be famous to "amount to something", that just doing what you do as good as you can is pretty good.

Cletus asked what we thought of the immigration issue but got no takers.