Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Since Mr. Possum had jury duty this week and Scooter Libby was convicted, I thought we should tell you the story of how our old friend Randy got thrown in jail and had to pay a large fine or at least it was large in 1978.

Randy was a mechanic in a garage in a fairly large city which shall be un-named. Randy had himself a "performance" car of which he was right proud. He kept that baby waxed and shined and drove it real careful except when he went to the drag strip. Now Randy worked at a garage that had a timecard and clock system that all employees had to use. The owner had gone to a class that said it was important to hold the employees noses to the grindstone and the guy who was running the class just happened to have good deal on time clocks. Actually, thathas nothing to do with the story but I thought I would throw it in in Mizz Junebugg's honor.

Anyway, one afternoon, Randy clocked out at 5:00 PM and was stopped less thatn 200 feet from his place of work by one of the city's finest who said he had been following him for several miles and that Randy had been speeding and otherwise driving reckless. Randy told him he had only left work at the Acme Garage less than 5 minutes previously and that he hadn't even been where the officer said he had seen him driving reckless.

The officer said he was sure there weren't two fancy hotrods like Randy's and gave him a $50 ticket.

Randy went to court to contest it taking along his timecard and his boss to witness that he had been at work until 5:00. The Judge listened to Randy's arguments and proceeded to fine him the $50 plus court costs. Randy asked him why and the Judge said he always went with the police's testimony in such cases. Randy said he thought the city needed a new Judge. The Judge said if rRandy opened his mouth again, he would be in contempt of court. Randy said that contempt did not begin to describe his feelings about the court.

That cost him a night in jail and $500.

He said it was almost worth it. He moved away from the fine city shortly after that and only returns for family emergencies.

When called for jury duty, he always tells the clerk his story adding that he never believes the police.

He has never made it past the first day in the jury pool.

Cletus was ready to write a scathing editorial concerning the Scooter Libby trial but then he read "The Hatemonger's Quarterly" entry for today and decided it wasn't worth his time to try to out do the Crack Young Staff. Elroy said he had talked to our lawyer buddy Chuck and asked him how it is a lawyer can't ask a simple question such as: "Was Plame really an undercover agent?"

Frankly, we don't care one way or the other since lying to a Grand Jury or in a deposition seems to be standard practice for high level government officials as noted by THQ.

Also, this whole sorry episode reinforces our belief that "journalists" are on the whole ignorant louts. Cletus says he suspects that politicians and journalists both come from that group of people who never were capable of doing anything productive.

Need I mention that Cletus has borrowed "Atlas Shrugged" from Kudzu Boy and is now fashioning himself as a crusading libertarian.

Bubba says we should wait a couple of weeks before letting Cletus know that "crusading libertarian" is a bit of an oxymoron.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007
I see that Terry Oglesby seems to have enjoyed Jury Duty. Of course, that may be because he didn't have to sit through any cases.

Cletus says he has been right neglectful in just noticing that Mizz Junebugg has been under the weather. We need some kind of alert system to let us know. Maybe the Homeland Security folks could come up with one since they have done so good with the one used for travel.

Bubba says the Blogosphere couldn't afford the cost of the consultants.