Compleat Redneck

Commentary from the boondocks. If it makes any sense, it is just by chance.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Cletus says that just when he was ready to write a incisive analysis of the "public intellectual" puzzle, as usual, someone beat him to it. Cletus says his analysis of why he has not so far been recognized as PI is that he is not a big enough idiot.

Elroy says that is hard to believe given Cletus' mass.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Back in the old days when we had three readers (although that included Cletus), we told entertaining "tales" and attracted international readership even if the British guy did go away after Cletus insulted him. Today's post at the erudite (whatever that means) Hatemonger's Quarterly set us to thinking how it is we have been reduced to being our only readers and that is a bit of a problem since Elroy's computer has been on the blitz leaving only Cletus to read our stunningly intelligent missives.

Could it be that we have exhausted our vast source of bovine excrement (BE) much as the evil capitalists have exhausted Gaia's vast resources of carbon and hydrogen compounds. It could, but I doubt that we have the capability to exhaust our supply of BE even if one or two of the rocket scientists have moved on to greener pastures.

I, for one, refuse to believe that it has anything to do with the quality of our posts or our random punctuation and run-on sentences or even our occasional creative spelling.

No, it appears to be that we neglected to post for several months and also that we have been remiss in our shameless begging to our betters such as Possumblog for links.

Cletus says that he has a plan to get Instapundit and Best of the Web Today to link to us but since none of his plans that don't involve eating pecan pie ever work out, I don't expect a big increase in "hits" any time soon.

I think I'll go have lunch now. A couple of the BBQ Emporium gang ordered in Chinese.

Cletus says this analyzing the 2008 possibilities is getting to be a bit difficult as there appears to be several hundred people who have already thrown their hats in the ring. If you have already committed and we somehow missed you, please let us know. Cletus says he will be checking our email every month or so. Anyway, I think this next guy is a Republican.

Today’s candidate comes from an old political family, his father having the distinction of being the only Presidential candidate who was “brainwashed” by the U.S. government, although there is reason to believe that such a process should be added to the Constitutional requirements for the Presidency and, personally, I believe the Manchurian Candidate” guy handled the whole brainwashing thing better, but I digress from my ramblings about the current scion who has shown some ability to manage something larger than a one car funeral although there is the matter of trying to please all people at all times at least the ones who may be voting in his next political race and the religion thing is a bit touchy but I figure if he can convince the right “religious right” “leaders” that he is not a “cultist” that little matter can be overcome but the whole Northeast get along with Democrats to accomplish things could be a problem and there is that guy from NY and the war hero and the former fat guy from Arkansas (no, not him, as far as I know he is still fat among other things) and the actor from Tennessee and lord knows who else and this whole thing is getting quite confusing even if I were to quit using run-on sentences but as an added attraction, my prognostication for this guy is his chances are a bit better than the proverbial snowball’s.

Monday, March 26, 2007
Cletus said he held off on this one until he had some time to think about the candidate’s announcement about his wife:

He was born on the wrong side of the tracks and went to work in a textile mill at the tender age of two where he swept up the loose thread which his poor old Mom (after spending a hard day at her Government job) then spun into yarn and knitted his clothes and his poor old Dad had to work hours in the mill as a manager protecting the little people from the evil big business owners and then he went to college and to law school and then sued a bunch of evil businesses and physicians for wrongs done poor people and he got millions of dollars for himself and around $2.37 for his clients and then the decided he was perfect for political life where he could help more people in the bad half of the two Americas and he became a Senator from North Carolina and immediately commenced to run for President and in 2004 was the running mate of the guy from Massachusetts who didn’t drive his car off a bridge but was in the boat business and they didn’t win so he became a corporate consultant ( but only for socially responsible companies not the evil ones) while taking two weeks to decide if he would pursue the 2008 nomination and to get started on his log cabin and his wife was diagnosed with cancer and was in remission but it returned but he is still running because when you are the only hope for the “little people” you must press on regardless and I liked him a lot better when I still thought he was the Scifi Channel Psychic.